How to be better in relationships
After looking over the blog I’ve realized that over the past several months I have somewhat neglected my “therapist” role. As stated in the “About Me” section I alluded to periodically posting about my experiences as a therapist. Apparently I’ve have one psychology-related post.
My primary interest as a counselor is to work with couples and families, so naturally interpersonal relationships completely fascinate me. This may stem from the tendencies of my family and friends to seek out my advise for relationships (though being unmarried and in NO way a relationship expert, I’m not really sure why), or from dealing with my own parents’ divorce, or perhaps listening to my married friends talk about their experiences, who knows.
So, in an effort to procrastinate turning in a final assignment before completing my Master’s degree in a few days, I’ve attached a link to a video with some excellent relationship advise. This is applicable to almost anyone, whether you are single, dating, engaged, married, divorced…basically if you have any interest in someday being in a defined monogamous relationship. I will preface this by saying that this is a link to a sermon series by a Christian pastor, Andy Stanley. However, whether or not you choose to identify with a religion the message is still worth a listen. The rest of the series is really great too, especially the “Gentleman’s Club” message that speaks directly to men about the oppressive nature of our society that allows objectification of women to seem natural and appropriate.
Though the advise seems simple and almost naturally intuitive, it’s amazing how often we fall into the exact traps that Stanley speaks about. We assume too often that as long as we find our “perfect” or “right” person that everything in our relationship(s) will naturally work out. However, we forget that just as we are imperfect, so is our partner. And when we (inevitably) discover that our partner is imperfect, we begin to suddenly question if we made a mistake in identifying them as the “right person.” Having a successful marriage (or long-term partnership) begins with practicing these principles in our dating relationships. If a friend told you that he/she woke up yesterday and decided to run a marathon, you would tell your friend that he/she is completely crazy and will most likely end up with some serious injuries and will inevitably fail. The same is true with relationships.
And now I should probably stop procrastinating and finish this last paper…